The End of Summer...and a New Crop of RealLife Posts Coming

Wow, this summer flew by! And now my Facebook feed is full of smiling faces as they head back to the classroom. I took the summer off to chase my three kids and travel like crazy, but I am ready to return to RealLife posts. And those of you asking when I will start posting again, you can now stop asking...we are getting real again soon! I need your help though...if you have signed up in the past, or are interested in participating this year, I need you to tell me how you would like me to communicate with you. I had some issues this past year communicating that it was your turn (or else some of you experienced cold feet :)!)

How this works: I randomly select from the volunteer list and contact you that its your turn. You snap a few pics, giving a good idea of your home at that moment (beautifully real), and send them to me. I will likely ask you a few questions to add context to life in that home, and then I post your stuff on the blog. You remain anonymous and get to be part of this encouraging RealLife movement.

If you are planning to join me, please shoot me a message at rachel.anderson@hotmail.com or message me on Facebook.

Happy End of Summer!!

Rachel

Real Life, Take #4

We're back! Just in time for summer break and all the chaos and messes that go with it! Here is another Real Life Take...

Married, Working Mom, 2 Kids

The messiest part of this family's life is the car...constantly driving to and from sports and the numerous activities of today's teenagers. The quote from this mom was "messy & dirty car - always". So there you have it, another reminder that life is meant to be lived and not immaculately clean. :)

Reset Button

Oh my, it has been so long since my last blog and my heart has been so filled with words all this time. Life is just chaotic and busy and most days more than I can handle, much less putting words to paper or finding the time to post more RealLife Pics. I’ve spent the past month wrestling with sick kids and harsh realities…the kind that feel like a kick in the gut and change your reality forever.

My youngest, Tate, is without a doubt a blessing to our family. The child that we knew we were supposed to have even though we had said we were done. He came into the world fast and furious but was the sweetest little baby. From the start his health was a struggle and we experienced numerous doctor, ER and hospital visits. As he got a little older his demeanor changed from happy to miserably grouchy. We spent our days attempting to snuggle while he screamed and cried. He became aggressive and emotionally shut off and it was heartbreaking to see him struggle daily. My reality changed practically overnight and most days seemed unbearable. The joy in our home seemed to seep away more and more daily and I found myself wondering why this was my life.

Close to Tate’s second birthday we made some diet tweaks and found an essential oil regimen that had him functioning so much better. But as time went on and we were less strict with his diet, he regressed. There are no words that adequately describe a life nothing like what you imagined, but its even worse when you see your child struggle with no way to help. We were doing everything we could to help him, and I secretly wondered what was really wrong with this child. Having raised two other children through the toddler years, I knew that his behavior was far from normal. They were the kind of fears you keep buried in the back of your mind and avoid at all costs.

Then it happened, we were at a doctor’s appointment because Tate had been struggling with a “stomach bug” for over three weeks. His cultures showed no parasites or infection, so we were left with a simple answer of “it will get better”.  But during that visit, the Dr noted Tate’s anxiety, slow speech and lack of socialization…all signs of autism. He wanted to have Tate’s hearing and speech tested and the dreaded “A” word was used. I should clarify he in no way said my son suffered from Autism, but my biggest fears were right there, spoken, and a punch in the gut like no other. In one moment all of my dreams and desires for this little boy were dashed at the thought of him fighting this for the rest of his life. Struggling to connect and relate to the world, struggling to learn and thrive and live what most would view as a “normal” existence. This was my baby, and while there are wonderful people fighting this fight daily, I didn’t want my baby to be one of them.

I give you this emotional context because the flurry of emotion and the impact is so crucial to a heart change…so crucial to feel that blow and find a way to keep standing. Our family clung to God, sought prayer for the elders in our church and started to explore other causes for his behavior. Almost instantly gluten intolerance and celiac disease came to light with cases of it mimicking Tate’s situation, not to mention the mysterious “stomach bug” he had been fighting. We removed gluten from his diet and almost instantly he was a different child, he is socializing and happy and the “tummy bug” was gone. He was all of a sudden a normal toddler!

The emotions of the journey, which has in many ways just begun, were not so quickly healed, and that’s okay. It was as if God was hitting the reset button in my life. I think back over the past two years fighting for Tate’s health, struggling to survive each day and wondering why this was my life. There have been numerous times throughout the journey with Tate that I tried to find outlets for me in midst of it all…thinking that a hobby or fun thing would somehow make it more tolerable. So many blogs and articles and journals encourage mothers to seek an outlet and take care of them; I would in no way say that is a bad or wrong message, but I now believe that seasons will come when that just isn’t possible. Each and every outlet I pursued required me to walk away; the at home sales opportunity that was perfect for me, the early morning workouts that just weren’t feasible with so many hospital stays and sleepless nights, the play dates that were next to impossible with a child like Tate, and so many other missed chances. My life needed to focus solely on this child and my family, there was room for little else.

I’ve realized that it’s okay to have seasons where our focus is on nothing but what’s in front of us. It took me a long time to accept that my view of perfect, that all of those amazingly wonderful things I used to love doing, might not happen right now, and if they do, it likely won’t meet my previous standards. And while I wish I could only embrace the perfect and revel at how amazing it is, I know that without the imperfect, my life would be a shallow mess of perfect pictures and little depth. It’s the valleys that allow us to appreciate the mountaintops…I’m still waiting to find my way back to the mountaintop, but even a few more feet up the mountain is improvement. And needing to cling to God daily, while hard, isn’t a bad place to be. Being able to experience his provision and grace daily with a raw heart is a huge blessing!

While this journey isn’t over, and has been less than fun, I know that right now God is requiring me to live in the trenches and fight for those he’s given me. I know that I fail daily and offer less patience than I should…but it’s my journey and God is teaching me. The more I am required to give (and I’ve given so much more than I knew I had!), the deeper I love. I never knew how strong my Momma Bear instincts could be until they were tested, and who knows, you might see me crusading for a Tate cause someday soon, but I will leave that for another day.

“Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22,23

Lets Regroup...and Real Life, Take #3

I’m back! I’m sure you haven’t missed me in your busy lives…but I’ve missed sharing these little bits of real with you! My life turned all sorts of crazy about a month ago, and my normal got even more insane! I will take it because its been fun and I’m finally getting to embrace some home remodels I’ve been dying to do…but I also have to remind myself to “just keep breathing”, because it’s chaos!!

By not getting to the blog lateley (pictures have been sitting here waiting to be posted all this time!) I realized that it fits perfectly with the blog theme…life is busy and messy and chaotic, and sometimes it takes a month to complete something. So I’m going to stress less about the fact I’m so behind and instead embrace the fact that I’m finally getting to it. Better late than never, right?!

In this time I’ve been away, I’ve also been rethinking the blog direction a teeny bit…I know that not all people struggle with messy houses, and by just sharing pics we aren’t really connecting. Bummer right!? I want to connect and share and live right there with you…so, we are gonna keep sharing pics of real life homes BUT we are also going to delve into each person’s version of messy.  Cause messy can be literal or figurative…or in some cases, maybe both! This doesn’t have to be anything crazy or dramatic, and for you maybe it is your home; or maybe its your kid who never remembers table manners or refuses to use a comb, or the car that you practically live out of that is always a disaster, or maybe it’s not a physical mess but something less tangible, like a relationship that’s always off.

No matter who we are or what our life looks like, we all have “messy”, and messy is different for each of us. So on this blog we are going to get even more real and start sharing our “messy”, along with shots of real life lived in homes. Because I believe that the more honest we are with others, and real about our imperfections, the less isolated and crazy we feel about not being picture perfect. Lets embrace our perfectly imperfect lives together!!

Real Life, Take #3

Married, Business Owner, Two Kids

There you have your real life dose for the week! And you can breathe a sigh of relief that you survived spring break! 

Did you do anything exciting over spring break? We didn't go anywhere fun but the kids played with friends and took a self defense class. I highly recommend checking out the Urbandale Police Departments RADKids Program if you live in Iowa and have kids ages 5-12. I've attached a link with information http://www.urbandale.org/rad-and-radkids.cfm.

Head on over to our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/reallifedomestic to get the latest real life posts! And of course, give us a like and share with your friends!

Interested in sharing your real with us? Shoot me a message at Rachel.anderson@hotmail.com or comment and we will make room for you!

Real Life, Take #2

Married, Housewife, Two Kids

A real life dose for your Monday! What's your real look like!?! 

Head on over to our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/reallifedomestic to get the latest real life posts! And of course, give us a like and share with your friends! 

Interested in sharing your real with us? Shoot me a message at rachel.anderson@hotmail.com or comment and we will make room for you! 

What About Me

I’ve had varying responses to this blog and while I know its going to be awesome (cuz how could it not be?!?!), I wanted to clarify a bit…I don’t think we all live like slobs, but I also don’t think we all live in magazine perfect houses…there are definitely both extremes, and seeing one house in all its forms for an entire year would likely show that most houses hit all extremes. I’m sure we will see all sorts of messy on the blog, but we will probably see plenty of clean. Ultimately, I think that there are much bigger “issues” tied to our homes.

For some reason, homes have become this thing that has to be perfect, and perfectly maintained, or we are paralyzed to invite others in…by allowing this to be an insecurity, we are shutting ourselves out of the awesome community that comes from letting people “all in” to our world.

If you are too worried about the crumbs on your counter and dishes in your sink, then you might miss out on the chance to invite your neighbor in for coffee, or your friend over for some much needed girl time. I believe wholeheartedly that God created us to be relational people, and it’s terrible losing out on that because of our own insecurities and fears.

My goal with this blog is to lightheartedly share fun pics of our beautifully crazy houses in their times of good, bad and ugly; but I’ve been pondering why this is such an issue for many of us. What causes us to panic at the thought of letting people “in”?! And folks, it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with us.

I received a compliment a few weeks ago and at the time thought it was sweet, but didn’t think about it again. Then today a friend mentioned the comment in passing, and I realized I had overlooked a gem gifted to me that day. Someone had offered me kind words and insight into his view of me, but I didn’t let it sink in. It hit me like a load of bricks, that in that moment I had stopped loving myself.

I’m sharing this with you because, while it isn’t about messy (or not) houses, it really is. Every thought and perception that I have impacts my view of the world. If I’m so critical of myself that every thought going through my head is about where I’m failing and what I can’t do, I never allow myself to experience the gift of others. Because those critical thoughts about me, turn into fears and misconceptions about the world around me, and what they must think of me. If I’m upset with myself for the dirty floors, sticky counters and sink full of dishes…then I assume the rest of the world is judging me for those messes.

Our thoughts and hearts are totally “what you put in, is what you get out”. Are you putting in love and offering grace for all the “messiness” that comes with living; embracing the awesome person God created you to be!? Because you are awesome! All of those little quirks and intricacies that make you you, the wonderful little things that separate you from every other person around you…its all awesome! If God says that we are a perfect creation, then how can we not love it!? That means love you! Life is messy though, and that wears on us. I’ve always been a pretty laid back person…but after the many stresses and setbacks of life, that laid back person became a tightly wound mess of crazy. All of that free spiritedness was replaced with disdain for me, the person I have to live the rest of my life with! All of my failures big and small took place of genuineness and grace in my life…and I was sure that every person I came across was judging me. It’s time to let all that go!

So as we embark on this blog journey, full of fun pictures and all sorts of real in one place, lets also take a look inward and make sure that we did not become our own worst critic. Lets not look at these pictures as a marker of how good or bad we are doing…is my house clean enough, pretty enough, perfect enough…but instead use it as a reality check that we all have messes (literally and figuratively) and life is too short to be a wind up toy.

I will probably spend the rest of my life learning to let go and love me, but I will gladly work on that if it means that my life is full of authentic and meaningful relationships. The kind that make your heart soar and make life worth living! So lets all run to the mirror, look at that beautiful person looking back at us, and do everything in our power to love on that person!! And the next time someone compliments you, proudly claim it for the gift that it is!

Real Life, Take #1

Married, Housewife, Three Kids.

So there you have it, our first Real Life Take! 

We've had a great response of households joining us for this blog project, but we can make room for more. So if you want to join in the fun, comment and let me know. And please share with your friends...lets get real!!

A Bit More Of My Real

I’ve heard from a few of you that your houses are too messy to showcase on the blog…these pictures are for you! :) I walked into my daughter’s room yesterday and was just so fed up with the mess! She’s 5 and can’t seem to find the hamper, the toy bin, the closet or anything in between…everything gets dumped right where she is when she’s done with it, and it is so frustrating. So being the awesome mom that I am, I told her I was cleaning out half of her clothes and toys…great idea in theory, but here’s the mess this process created. Her entire closet on my bed and bedroom floor, which my youngest spent the whole day undoing. All of the laundry baskets sorted with specific purposes are now a big heap on the floor because they were needed elsewhere (my son’s Pirate Ship!)...isn’t it fun!? 

So there you have it, a bit more of my real!! Check back next week for our first installment of “Glamour Shots”…and be sure to share the fun with your friends! I don’t know about you, but I’m excited!!

It's Almost Valentine's Day!

I love Valentine's Day! It's the holiday of love...and I love that it always feels so warm and fuzzy! Not that any of you lovely folks need my help making the day special, but I thought I would share a few of my favorite Valentine traditions, ideas and gifts...ready to share the love!?!?

The Heart Attack
I love this idea found at http://www.bombshellbling.com/heart-attack/. I usually buy heart sticky notes and leave a note here or there, but the full blown heart attack is awesome! (And buy the heart sticky notes for the lazy gals version! :))

The Mr. and Mrs. Journal
My awesome Hubby will be getting one of these this Vday...ssshhh, its a secret! I love that its such a great way to communicate with him in the midst of life's craziness. And I will be buying journals for each of my kids to write special notes to them...what a neat way to build them up, encourage them and show them how special they are.
http://www.dayspring.com/themed_collections/mr_and_mrs/mr_and_mrs_two_in_one_inspirational_journal/

Chocolate Messages
I love these Chocolate Messages found on Etsy! How cool! And you can personalize to say whatever you want..so fun and unique! 
http://www.etsy.com/listing/79247705/valentine-anniversary-birthday-gift-for?ref=shop_home_active_4

Chocolate Gun
And while we are talking chocolate....my husband really likes guns, so these chocolate guns and ammo are perfect for him!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/84663647/chocolate-gun-full-size-hand-crafted

Heart Mold
My husband gifted this heart mold to me a few years ago, and every Vday and Mothers Day he and the kids make me heart shaped eggs...love this tradition and that awesome man!
http://www.amazon.com/Norpro-Nonstick-Heart-Pancake-Rings/dp/B0000DDVWK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391557073&sr=8-1&keywords=heart+pancake+molds

So there you have it...a few of my favorite ways to make this Valentine's Day full of love and warm fuzzies!! :)